Chivalry Can't Be Dead

Being in a long term relationship blocked a lot of the nonsense single people have to deal with. I've always had guys approach me but with the protection of being in a relationship/engaged, I didn't have the extra stuff to deal with. Now that I'm newly single I try to keep an open mind and go with the flow but this flow is more like a typhoon.

When I was a preteen/teenager, I was an ugly duckling. None of the boys wanted more than a friendship from me. I saw how they chased the "pretty" girls and oddly enough the girls would use me as their shield (yeah I know... cruel). I hated that no boy found me to be cute so I prayed to God that He would make me pretty enough to be chased. Talk about being careful about what you ask for....

I know that some attention is better than no attention but my goodness. The first thing I was blessed with were wide hips and a big behind. My "seductive" eyes and "sexy" smile followed rather quickly. It took a few years but my breast were the last to get to the point of drawing attention. I know that when guys approach a female, 9 times out of 10 it's not because of her personality. Having a great personality is an added bonus but the men who approach me make it clear that all they want is to have sex with me. I have looked long and hard and don't see what it is about me that makes them think that I'm just a "good time" woman.

I had a telephone conversation (I didn't give this guy my number and I blocked my number... thank God) with this guy and right away he tells me that he's not looking for a committed relationship. He has this "circle" of girls he deals with and when one act like she's trying to get him to commit, he drops her and add another in his rotation. As he continues to speak, I block out what he's saying and began asking myself is this guy for real? Does he think I want to be apart of this "stable" of chicks he allegedly has? Of course I informed him when it was my turn to participate in the conversation that I'm enjoying my single life and not looking to get into another relationship. He got happy and said that it sounds like we would be the right pick for one another to which I responded no. I told him that sex was not at the top of my priority list and I'm much deeper than that. For whatever reason I offended him and he decided that he would do his best to disrespect me. I didn't get down to his level and I let him have his little fit because I found it funny. How is it he was so sure or wrapped up in the idea of having sex with me that when it was denied he got so angry?

Another guy approached me twice about asking me out and to see if I were married or single. The first time I told him that I was engaged (and I was but shortly after I became disengaged... I like to call it that) and he told me that he had to let me know how attractive I was. It was about a few months later when he approached me again telling me how beautiful I was and he had to know if I was single. I got the idea that he didn't remember stepping to me the first time so I played along. I know I give men a hard time so I decided to throw the guy a bone. Little did I know he would toss me one back. He and I talked via telephone calls for a while. The conversation was great and he wanted to take me out so he could look me in my eyes (yes, I was supposed to fall for that). I ended up running into him while I was out and about shopping. The conversation was short because he was working and I had business I needed to take care of. Later that evening, I received a phone call and he told me how beautiful and sexy I look. It was a must that we spend some time together. THEN he told me about a dream he had about me which was a graphic sexual dream and began describing to me how I made him feel when he saw me. As if that wasn't enough, he used his cell phone to take a picture of his semi boner (told you he tossed me a bone) sent it to me, and called back to find out what my opinion was. I explained to him about me being a lady and deserved to be treated as such and from that moment on, I haven't heard much from him. I could have been honest and told him that instead of sending it to me he should have had his doctor take a look at it because from what I saw, that thing didn't look normal but I took the high road.

I remember hearing that a woman has to kiss a lot of frogs before finding her prince but who needs that? I'm not trying to get warts of any kind (okay?!) and it's just not that serious to me. I'm not looking to be in a relationship right now but I'm at the point where I don't mind hanging out. I've never been one to just put out because someone was attracted to me. I'm not going to choose now to start handing it out to every guy who wants it. I sometimes wish I was a little more shallow but I'm not. If a guy wants to get my attention, sex is not the way. If we have established a decent connection and it happens to come up, then I can talk about it till the cows come home.

Fairytales Can Come True....

Recently some events occurred that reminded me about one of my favorite childhood stories, "Goldilocks and The Three Bears". Most people feel sorry for little Goldilocks but I've always cheered for the bears. Think about it for a second. Papa, Momma, and Baby Bear went for a walk while waiting for their hot cereal to reach the temperature they each desired when this intruder just came in and picked at two of the bear's food and ate all of poor Baby Bear's food. After that, she just sat in each of their chairs until she found one that was comfortable and to top it all off, she again disrupting two of the bear's beds and slept in poor Baby Bear's bed. She was totally lucky that Papa Bear wasn't packing heat and popped a cap in her. Goldilocks in all of her selfishness got scared when she saw the Bear family looking at her and ran away. Now had she ate from only one bowl, sat in one chair, and didn't bother about going into the bedroom (cause as we all know, that's a big no no to go into someone's bedroom without permission), who knows what may have happened. In fact, why not wait for them to return and ask for something to eat? Pretty much she got what she thought she needed and ran. Now look at Snow White. The Seven Dwarfs took her in and she showed her appreciation by making their beds, making sure they had a hot meal after a long hard day working in the mines, and keeping the house clean. It worked out perfect for everyone. Why is it that we as human beings don't think that way? Most of us are opera singers (Me-Me-Me-Me-Meeeeee). We do whatever we can to get ahead without acknowledging those who helped us get to there. There are those of us who wants to reap the rewards without working hard for the benefits. Anything worth having is definitely worth working hard for. More great things can be accomplished when we work together instead of expecting someone to do the work for us. Each of us has a role to play in each other's lives but a lot us don't want the responsibility to live up to that role. When time arrives for us to face our truth, running away from it appears to be the best way to handle it instead of facing it head on. So indirectly, we end up sabotaging ourselves then blame others for our misfortune. Michael Jackson (RIP) said it best when he wrote the song "Man In The Mirror". One's self is the only one we can not lie to.
We all were born stars. That is a given but it is up to us to decide how bright we shine.